Monday, July 21st, 2008
I’ve been a fan of up and coming celebrity babe Amber Heard for a while now, so seeing her in a Maxim photoshoot is exactly what I needed this Monday morning. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of Maxim magazine’s steamiest set of pictures, but like I said, I dig Amber, and seeing her unleash some maximum cleavage is a-ok with me, and a good sign of things to come. Head over here for a little more Amber.
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Posted in Gossips | No Comments »
Monday, July 21st, 2008
Khloe Kardashian checked out The Dark Knight at The Grove Saturday and enjoyed the general bliss that comes from ducking 30 days in jail for DUI. I can tell by the remorseful look on her face, Khloe’s learned a lesson: Kardashians make the law their bitch. Well, I’ll show them. I’m going to get blitzed off my face then drive around their neighborhood. Yeah, this plan is genius. *starts chugging*
UPDATE: Dude, Geekologist, I’m telling you this plan will totally teach these people a lesson. What people? I dunno, somebody. I wrote it down on a napkin. Huh? I didn’t puke on my shirt. You puked on your shirt. At your mom’s house - with Chevy Chase riding a lawnmower. BURN!
UPDATE: Yum yum yummy I’ve got Jager in my tummy, yum yum I’m feeling like nachos.
UPDATE: Stop the press, who is that? This, this tree of a woman. A mighty red oak of breasts and timber thighs. I would totally hit tha- SHIT NUTS! I looked at her face. *shakes head* Hey, I’m absolutely 100% sober. How’d that happen? And why is there a tongue print on my monitor in front of Khloe Kardashian? As God as my witness, I am never drinking again.
UPDATE: Wait, I’m an atheist. To the Beer Cave! *crawls under desk*
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Monday, July 21st, 2008
Britney Spears surprised guests by showing up to the Generation Rescue autism fundraiser thrown by Jenny McCarthy. Nobody knows how or why Britney was there. Until they remembered Jim Carrey sprang for a custom burrito bar. Of course! At that point, everyone quietly nodded as if to say “If I see vulva, I’m throwing elbows all the way to the fire exit.” Us Magazine reports:
As guests like McCarthy’s beau and Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller made the rounds, Spears, 26, sipped on red wine.
Carrey’s daughter Jane also belted out a few Frank Sinatra and Jackson 5 tunes.
Spears, 26, “definitely looked happy,” a witness tells Usmagazine.com. “She was clapping and smiling a lot.”
What was Britney so happy about? Someone told her vaccinating your children is bad. Awesome! She doesn’t even what a quack-sation is! Finally, her parenting skills were paying off. Then she realized she left Sean in the car with the keys - but didn’t leave a $20 for the Wendy’s drive-thru. Sonofabitch. “This is exactly why banks should let toddlers have debit cards,” she thought while stuffing burritos in her bra.
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